Infidelity or adultery is a destructive “epidemic” in our society today. The Bible says it destroys lives, families, and souls. Statistically, about 60% of married people will commit adultery at some point in their marriage (check infidelity statistics: 1 ; 2)Along the way, I’ve learned that a lot of therapists, counselors, and pastors are making a mess of the lives of individuals recovering from infidelity on a “hunch.” Many of them fell into the “cause and effect trap” which blames the hurt, betrayed spouse for the adultery/affair. This is disastrous when it comes to personal and marital recovery.
I believe these people helpers mean well. But when it comes to woundedness caused by infidelity, there is simply no or little experience or training offered in graduate schools, universities, and seminaries.
Among professional therapists, there is also found little positive help. According to a well known research done by infidelity specialist Peggy Vaughan, only 13% know how to address infidelity. This was based on the results of a survey of 1,083 people whose spouses had affairs. Here are more highlights from that research:
* On page 32, “Was the counselor helpful?”(861 responses)
57% – No, mostly frustrating
23% – Yes, but not as much as I’d like
20% – Yes, very helpful
* On pg. 33, the question is asked: “Did the counselor focus directly on the issue of affairs?” (725 Responses)
59% – No, mainly focused on general marital problems
28% – yes, but not as strongly or clearly as I’d like
13% – Yes, very directly dealt with this issue.
From this survey, something is wrong when over half of hurt spouses recovering from infidelity say their psychotherapy/counseling is of very little help or lacking in effectiveness.
Now my point is this: as a psychotherapist myself, I want to advance the proper and adequate treatment of infidelity in a holistic way. To that end, if you’re suffering from your spouse’s infidelity and betrayal, I’d like to help you. What I share with you is infidelity treatment that’s not merely based on clinical perspective or theory, but on “experienced reality” of total recovery. I’ve been there my self, so I know and feel your pain.
To begin your affair recovery journey, feel free to call or text me at my 24/7 Hotline +63 909.777.0433 or email me at psychotherapy@drsubida.com.
