Were you abused by your father and/or mother during your childhood or younger years? Do you find your self repeating or perpetuating the pattern of abuse you suffered from your own parents in your own life? A common tragedy of our times is that “adult abusers” often are not aware of what they’re doing. Out of their history of “child abuse,” they act out behavior that seems normal to them.
Let me cite some “signs” below that could indicate that you need to heal your “wounded child” within. I don’t mean to injure you again by bringing up a hurtful past. Honestly, in my own life, I’d to deal with some of these “signs” and learn how harmful they’d been to those I love, to my self, before the Lord started my own healing process.
The first step is knowledge. And the objective is to help us understand truth and reality as they really are. Acknowledging and becoming aware of abusive patterns in your life will lead to acceptance, hope, and healing.
… belittling, humiliating, marginalizing others
… threatening, hinting, or actually carrying out physical or sexual abuse
… physically or verbally shaming the other person through destructive gestures, comments, or “jokes”
… displaying extreme moods or feelings such as bitterness, resentment etc.
… using a hostile or sarcastic tone of voice in communicating with other people
… lying and covering up to avoid responsibility for truth or offense
… ignoring or refusing to communicate with the other person – the “silent treatment”
… using guilt to manipulate or force obedience to your demands
… failing to keep your word or fulfilling promises made or implied
… displaying fits of rage or anger outbursts
… blaming others for one’s mistakes
… not listening to or minimizing the other person’s feelings and points of view
… withholding favor or resources to take revenge
… putting down, berating, or making the other person feel worthless
… being critical and judgmental of every thought, action, or remark of the other person
REMEMBER, these are just “signs” for you to explore the presence of abuse in your own life. I invite you to reflect on them and check their reality and presence in two aspects of your life: your “PAST” and your ‘PRESENT.”