You Can’t Heal What You Can’t Feel

You can’t heal what you can’t feel.

That’s why “feeling your feelings” is crucial in personal therapy, especially in grief work. You need to sob and cry, stomp, tremble, shout, and perspire. All your feelings need to be experienced and felt to complete the grieving process. That involves knowing and learning how to let go of your defenses so you can heal.

Psychotherapy is a safe place where you can do the necessary feeling work. In it, recovery of feelings is a process rather than an event. Your knowing that there is a safe place and a safe person, and that you don’t have to go on alone, bring psychological and emotional relief. For healing from deep-level wounds, you need this type of relief from time to time.

Of course, there are persons and places outside therapy where it’s not safe to do grief work. You need then to be selective. As a result, you find your self in validation and relief in one day, then find your self with nothing or minimizing a week later.

But it’s necessary to keep moving forward and sustaining the momentum. The feeling of the feelings is what’s crucial. As you experience the old, unprocessed feelings and let your self be there for your wounded inner self, the healing work naturally takes place.

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