One time, over at Radyo Inquirer DZIQ 990 AM (powered by Philippine Daily Inquirer), I was interviewed for almost forty minutes on-air about the topic “sex in marriage.” Hot issue! Sex is often a battleground in countless lives. It’s a common or frequent source of psychological, emotional, and spiritual wounds or disorders among men and women.
Here are some of the highlights of what I shared during last night’s radio broadcast:
* Sex is just a part of the process towards intimacy in marriage. It’s not intended as an end in itself in the context of marriage.
* Sex is God’s gift, part of His creating us male and female. Because it’s from God, sex then is a “spiritual task” which we’re called to carry out according to His design.
* We need to be “pro-life” in sex within marriage. Sex that is “for life” produces peace of mind, faithfulness, love and nurture, completeness, joy, selflessness, mental/emotional/physical health.
* Unfortunately, much of the sex proliferating around is “non-pro-life” – sex devoid of intimacy – producing “inner death” characterized by dissatisfaction, calloused emotions, selfishness, and incompleteness.
* Sex is contaminated or distorted by “games” well promoted by media, show business, and society. For men, the game is “score.” For women, the game is “seduce.” Part of the “games” is sex addiction involving pornography, fantasizing, masturbation, sex with prostitutes or multiple partners, adultery etc.
* When a spouse views sex in marriage as a “game” or an end in itself, what becomes important now is “one’s own needs” rather than the “marriage relationship.”
* There are no faces in games, only bodies. People become “objects.”
* Out of its proper context of marriage and intimacy, sex leads to psychological, emotional, and spiritual instability and death.
* Healing from the psychopathology of sex games even within marriage involves renewal of the mind, a supportive and nurturing environment, psychological and spiritual counsel etc.