Wholeness, Not Romance or Marriage, Is The Goal

Do you need to get married or have a romance to be happy or fulfilled?

Carmela is desperate. Her husband is a serial adulterer and has recently abandoned her for a younger woman. She cries, “I’ve got to have a boyfriend in order to feel good and happy again.” Her reaction to her marital trauma is very emotional, accompanied by a lot of unprocessed pain, possessiveness, and insecurity. Carmela becomes promiscuous resulting from the wound and pain of her husband’s betrayal, trying to meet her own “empty bucket” needs.

Betrayal or trauma is especially devastating for those who have not been “whole persons.” They end up feeling unlovable after suffering rejection or loss. Many spend great efforts to prove to themselves that they are lovable. So they search for another love relationship through romance or marriage, without getting enough healing and wholeness first for themselves. Instead of entering romance or marriage from a position of internal stability and strength, they go into it from a position of relational neediness. That’s self-damaging and will only deepen fresh, existing wounds.

Maybe you’re single – never married, solo parent, or divorced.  And you aren’t sure if you ever want to get married again or have a romantic relationship. Perhaps your religious beliefs, past divorce/s, or personal goals and lifestyle aren’t compatible with marriage or romance after being betrayed. That’s wonderful! No one says you must be married or have a romantic relationship to be whole.

You don’t need to get married or romantically linked to another person to be joyful or experience a full life. Don’t believe the movies!  Romance or marriage is not the goal; wholeness is. Know the secrets of getting your healing and wholeness, with or without romance and marriage. Be a complete person to experience how to truly love others.

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