Countless times, I notice that the hurting hung around people — whether family, friends, or partners – who are “unsafe.” They need support during times of woundedness. Yet unknowingly, they are getting farther and farther away from being their real selves due to the influences of unsafe people around them.
Psychologist Dr. John Townsend wrote a book entitled “Safe People.” In it, he cited personal traits of unsafe people. Here are these traits below that can help you distinguish safe relationships from unsafe relationships, which are essential for your recovery process:
1. Unsafe people think they “have it all together” instead of admitting their weaknesses;
2. Unsafe people are religious instead of spiritual;
3. Unsafe people are defensive instead of open to feedback;
4. Unsafe people are self-righteous instead of humble;
5. Unsafe people only apologize instead of changing their behavior;
6. Unsafe people avoid working on their problems instead of dealing with them;
7. Unsafe people demand trust, instead of earning it;
8. Unsafe people believe they are perfect instead of admitting their faults;
9. Unsafe people blame others instead of taking responsibility;
10. Unsafe people lie instead of telling the truth;
11. Unsafe people are stagnant instead of growing.