If you wish to heal wounded relationships, one of the things to master is healthy “Metacommunication.” Humans cannot not metacommunicate.
Metacommunication is a sender’s comment on the literal or denotation content as well as the nature of the relationship of the persons involved in the communication process. It’s a message about the message being sent.
I see often in session couples who are hurting yet keep on sending incongruent communication that aggravates the hurts. There is verbal communication but the nonverbal metacommunication does not jibe with it. For example, a husband says “I love you Honey” and then stiffens or grimaces. The double level message confuses!
Make sure you’re metacommunicating well to deposit love, truth, and trust. It spells a difference between healing and havoc.