Martha began telling me how many times she has approached her husband about his drug addiction. Each time she raises her concerns, he blames her for everything. Suddenly, Martha finds herself defending herself and the addiction problem gets lost in the shuffle.

Realize that the blame game is a favorite tactic of an addict to make his getaway. To deflect unwanted attention to his addiction, the addict keeps you off balance. Blaming is an effective escape technique for addicts.

Be aware of why addicts resort to the blame game or other routes, such as “making promises they don’t intend to keep,” whenever they feel threatened. The nature of addiction is such that it forces the addict to engineer escapes to keep you — his “problem” at bay.

The more informed and equipped you become, the less likely you’ll allow yourself to be persuaded by the addict’s diversions.