I understand that you may feel uncomfortable reading this. That’s fine. It’s always so hard to face reality, especially about how much our parents may had or have hurt us. The feelings involved are bound to be painful.
But you have no choice if you want to heal. For the sake of recovery, the truth still needs to be faced. Here are several consistent, dominant truths or signs to find out if one has or had a “toxic parent” (may apply to just one parent or both parents):
* your parent/s constantly criticize, ridicule, or put you down, make you feel worthless
* your parent/s get drunk (alcoholic) or addicted to drugs (drug addict) that leave you confused and frightened
* your parent/s inflict physical pain through inappropriate means such as beating you with belts, wood, or other objects especially to sensitive parts of the body
* your parent/s are emotionally unavailable due to severe problems such as depression and other mental health concerns
* your parent/s sexually molested you
* your parent/s set a bad moral example by exposing you to immorality and adultery
* your parent/s consistently commits lies and deceit in terms of speech and behavior
* no matter what you do, your parent/s say and think it’s never good enough
* your parent/s manipulate you with money
* your parent/s manipulate you with guilt and threats
* your parent/s encourage or even demand you to give up your honor, purity, or faith
* your parent/s treat you as if you’re still a little child
There could be more. Whatever the nature of their abuse, the wounds or scars they leave are the same – chaos, instability, low self esteem, loss of childhood, severe anxiety, depression, anger outbursts etc. The fact is, despite your best intentions, you might also discover yourself behaving just like your “toxic parent!”
If this is true to you, you need healing.