Are you a cheating husband or wife?
If you are and you want to heal yourself and your marriage/relationship, here’s a sneak preview of some therapy steps generally prescribed by clinicians and therapists:
* Abstinence 100% from all contacts and communications with the OP (other person) or adultery partner;
* Take responsibility for your behaviors and misbehaviors;
* Show sincere evidences of remorse and repentance, relationally and spiritually;
* Realize that there is never an excuse for adultery;
* Be sensitive and patient when your spouse/partners suffers from triggers out of the infidelity wound;
* Check your anger and resentment at the door;
* Acknowledge the depth of the pain and wounding that your affair brought to the marriage and family;
* Admit mistake committed and avoid all excuses and rationalizations to deflect attention to the adultery;
* Stop blaming your spouse/partner for your affair;
* Repent of and stop recruiting the children to be “partners in crime” in the adultery;
* Be truthful from here on – no secrets any more;
* Get your personal healing of emotional wounds with a professional therapist;
* Get marital healing with your spouse/partner only through increased structure of professional psychotherapy and counseling sessions, especially in the beginning stages;
* Stop being defensive;
* Be trustworthy;
* Renew your mind and stop thinking that the grass is greener somewhere else;
* Figure out the “roots” of your unfaithfulness to your spouse/partner;
* Check what your spouse/partner needs on a regular basis;
* Expand your circle of support – safe friends, therapist, community etc.;
* Educate your self about affairs and infidelity treatment;
* Listen – really listen;
* Seek help from God as your best source of strength, healing, and life recovery.