Melissa can’t make her self happy. Her happiness and well being are heavily dependent upon getting love and approval from her husband and children. Outside home, she constantly thinks of what others think of her and her appearance. She is always limited by other people’s opinions. As a result, she doesn’t take risks and experiences a host of psychological symptoms, which includes anxiety panic attacks, deep depression, and severe fears.
In my numerous years as a psychotherapist and counselor, I’ve discovered that “love and approval addiction” is a far more prevalent or common addiction than any other drug addiction. I see it everywhere, not just during my sessions or personal and professional interactions, but much more so in the news, media, and in all walks of life. We live in a world of love-addicted, approval-addicted human beings.
Living as a “love/approval addict” is a very hard, unhealthy way to live your life. Your feelings are always up and down, like a roller coaster. You constantly worry about doing the right thing, looking right, pleasing people to get your needed love and approval. When you don’t get your fix, you feel despair, anger, or you become judgmental. You simply can’t handle or cope with even the slightest pain of disapproval, rejection, abandonment, or being shut out.
If your addiction to love and approval of others is running your life, albeit unconsciously, you are hurting your self. You are hurting your personal sense of safety, worth, and loveability. No matter how much approval or love your receive from others, it never heals your inner insecurity that comes from abandoning your self. The more you become aware of this and take direct steps to address it, the better you’ll feel about your self. And the less you’ll become addicted seeking approval from others.