We all need love. We all need approval. It’s a basic reality of our human existence. Our self, in its deepest core, needs love and approval to survive, grow, and thrive amid life’s challenges. However, the problem begins when we become overdependent on others that we miss giving our selves first the love and approval we need.
I’m reminded of Imelda. She was telling me that she has already read all sorts of psychology and self help books to boost her self. She’d practice Self-affirmations like “I am worthy,” “I love my self,” or “I have talents people need.” Still, she finds her self criticizing her self, dwelling on her negative feelings, and turning to addictions.
Why the self-abandonment? Why is this repeatedly happening – psychologically and emotionally – to countless individuals?
You see, when you give your self love and approval in just the rational way, it doesn’t work. This is especially true when your self affirmations are coming from that part of your brain where your unprocessed “wounded inner child” resides. If you’ve had a horrible childhood where you experienced abandonment, abuse, or deprivation and it’s a past still in your present, that part of you will block your self affirmations. It feels that you’re just “making it up” when you give your self love and approval.
Obviously, in order for your self love and approval to affect the core of you, it cannot come from your ego-impaired “wounded inner child.” For healing to take place where your self can truly experience your self love and approval, you need to be connected to your “Higher Self.” Your wise, loving “Higher Self” goes deeply inside of you where your “wounded inner child” can develop the capacity to believe when you give your self approval. This “Higher Self” then follows it up whereby you learn to take loving actions toward your self.
This is how you heal your “love-approval addiction.” You give your self love and approval first from your “Higher Self” rather than from your pre-programmed mind. In this way, your inner child can experience accepting and believing them.