When You Envy

Envy has the power to damage your self. If you’re unable to check or manage it, it may consume your whole being.

Author Rolf Dobelli, in his book “The Art of Thinking,” tells of a Russian tale: “A farmer finds a magic lamp. He rubs it, and out of thin air, a genie appears, promising to grant him one wish. Finally, he says: ‘My neighbor has a cow and I have none. I hope that his drops dead.”

Sounds absurd? But, this tale of Dobelli still reeks of common reality among humankind. Yours may not be extreme. But whether you like it or not, there’s a part of our self – whether conscious or unconscious – that tends to be envious of other people’s success or blessings.

Tomas wished he wasn’t that way. As he told me about his expanding wife’s foreign business trips while he remained stuck in his job, he felt kind of sad. It would be wonderful for him to enjoy his wife’s success without having to experience feelings of envy about it.

The trouble with such envy is, it can create a chain of unhealthy, irrational thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. You find your self distant from your wife. You try to sabotage her plans. And perhaps, puncture her clothes or steal her passport!

So, how do you manage and control your envy when you experience it?

In my own self growth, I’ve learned how “grateful for what I’ve got” helps check my human tendency to envy. Count your blessings is a familiar refrain. I start and end my day with thanksgiving prayer.

Then I think about how vast the ocean is, instead of looking only at a little corner. That enlarges my vision, helps me see the bigger picture. It energizes me to create one opportunity after another. Actively inventing my future stops the envy.

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