He had a very bad temper. Verbally and physically, he’d lash out.
One day, his father gave him a bag of nails. Alan’s father told him that every time he loses his temper, he has to hammer a nail at the back of their fence.
By the end of the 1st day, Alan hammered 20 nails into the fence. Over time, Alan learned that each moment he is able to control his anger, the number of nails he has to hammer into the fence reduces.
Finally, the day came when Alan doesn’t lose his temper any more.
Alan reported the good news to his Dad. His Dad commended him and then took him by the hand to lead him to the fence.
Alan’s Dad says: “You’ve done well, my son. But look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. But it won’t matter how many times you say ‘I’m sorry,’ the attack left a mark.”
Verbal wounds can be as severe as physical wounds.
To ensure you don’t leave a hole in your loved one (e.g. spouse, child, friend) because of anger or some internal issue, you need to bring light into your hidden darkness. Once you process your open wounds, you’ll stop hurting others and have better control of your emotional world.