The famous psychologist, Dr. Carl Jung, once wrote that resistance makes us unfocused, restless, and apathetic, which in turn “begets meaninglessness.” When the Big R (resistance) has us, we cease to live or work at all. We avoid being responsible and finding any meaning in life.
Resistance is an escape. It’s a form of war against or running-away from what needs to be done. In psychotherapy, a patient who rejects recovery, too tired or lethargic, and unable to focus on any of life’s courses, is a resistant person.
A young woman, Nicole, was smart enough to hold a high-paying position in her company. Yet she wouldn’t go for it. She’s always heard giving her self and others varied reasons why she’s “incapable” of doing where she’s seen to have great potential. One day, to the shock of those around her, she resigned her job.
Nicole went back to her mother’s care. For years, she withdrew from applying for a new job and just stayed with her Mom. She felt helpless and hopeless. She avoided even the simplest tasks of self care. In the depths of her growing depression, she missed life’s opportunities.
I’ve been reading parts of author John Sanford’s book, “The Transformation of the Inner Man.” I discovered he describes a condition he called psychological “amniosis,” which seems to apply perfectly to Nicole’s state, her Big R.
Sanford writes that “amniosis” means an “inability to come out of the amniotic fluid and be born, or flight by regression to return to the safe hiding place of the womb … Amniotic people want to be taken care of. They want to find strong people – ones in whom they can nestle, upon whom they can be dependent…”
People with the Big R usually experience a damaged self esteem. And people with a damaged self esteem often avoid being powerful, responsible, and well-adjusted. Or, they become addicted to temporary sources of relief, such as drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling etc, that prove life-damaging in the long run.
It’s a good thing Nicole is becoming increasingly aware of her Big R in our sessions. She’s now being “reschooled” away from her earlier programming, inappropriate cultural or society values and biaes, and other influences that have damaged her own self, her own uniqueness, her own interior wisdom.