“We all have an omniscient narrator in our head who is harsh and negative commenting on our life. Having a voice constantly urging us to do better has some survival value – but it can make us miserable,” said New York-based psychologist John Gartner.
The other day, a talented young woman was sobbing during session.
She’s continually harassed by an inner judge which is critical, nit-picking, and devaluing her.
This thing inside her head was demanding. Full of unrealistic expectations. On the job 24/7.
She’s made to believe from the core that something is fundamentally wrong with her.
She’s been trying to control and fix what she felt is a basically flawed self.
It’s such an epidemic. This deep sense of personal deficiency. Getting stuck in the trance of unworthiness.
Mindfulness helps. It reduces the power the voice inside has over us.
Along the way in my sessions, I like doing Tara Brach’s R.A.I.N. process tool to guide individuals in their private practice of mindfulness.
R.A.I.N. trains the emotions and thoughts to be self-compassionate.
R.A.I.N. tool for mindfulness goes this way:
R = recognize what is going on
A = allow the experience to be there, just as it is
I = investigate with interest and care
N = nurture with self compassion
According to Dr. David Kessler, MD, author of “CAPTURE,” studies show that meditation and mindfulness gives schizophrenics the “ability to pay less attention to and give credence to the voices in their heads.”
“For those with anxiety or depression, meditation stops the cycle of obsessive rumination and self recrimination,” Dr. Kessler added.