You can fly, but that cocoon has to go.

“You can fly, but that cocoon has to go,” says a message printed on a poster. The poster shows a picture of a beautiful butterfly.

Many of the individuals I’ve worked with actually need to hear that message. It’s true for all of us going through woundedness.

So we could learn to fly again.

Roberto, whose would-be bride had a two-month affair with a womanizing politician, was stuck. Despite massive remorse and changes in his fiancée, he kept blaming her for his immobilization.

As a result, Roberto found himself severely depressed each day. Obsessing over what can’t be undone. Self-medicating thru alcohol and paid sex.

At work, he’d cry buckets of tears that kept him from moving ahead. His psychological and emotional state was like an “immobile cocoon.”

Trauma or loss can be compared to two things. It can be a “war zone” and a “safety cocoon” all at the same time.

When you choose to battle beyond trauma or loss, you’ll be able to see the big picture. You’ll be able to experience the thrill of developing new wings towards new adventures.

When you hug your cocoon to yourself, you can only view life on the surface. It somewhat feels safe staying in the cocoon. But you’re not flying.

Are you firmly stuck in your trauma/loss cocoon? Or, have you gently and progressively been trying to develop new wings?

I’ve met people who are trying to fly while they hang on to their cocoon. It doesn’t work. That cocoon has to go before you can freely fly!

Of course, when you’re newly traumatized or abused, you need a safety cocoon for awhile. But you don’t want to hide there the rest of your life.

You make better progress when flying. Not stuck in the cocoon, walking or crawling.

Is there a beautiful butterfly stuck in your cocoon today? Until when will you wait to spread its wings and fly into new adventures?

Therapy For The Aged

The aged or “seniors” are a specific age-group with distinct psychological, emotional, and spiritual needs. But whether they realize it or not, whether they accept it or not, everything about how they live their remaining earthly years point toward the approaching end. The quality of their life or mental health rests closely on the balance of walk they make between two worlds.

Last night, my 78-year-old Mom and I were joking about the secret of longevity of her 84-year-old friend and neighbor.  She said that her fellow “senior” friend was so disciplined and trusting of his meds and high-rise living. And that’s about all she can say about him. As a result of his lifestyle, according to her, she finds him happy and healthy. In my mind, I can’t help but say, “Nice try!” For, indeed, no matter how much fine meds or high rises he lives his life, they’ll still end, won’t they? It’s just a matter of time.

Dr. Victor Frankl, a noted best selling author and founder of Existential Therapy, speaks of “purpose” of existence as a way to beat depression or mental breakdown. Truly, there is a condition worse than death and that is, life without purpose. However, Dr. Frankl, despite the truth of what he’s writing about, still falls short. His thesis, like most others, begins in man and ends in man. There is a life out there beyond man’s journey on this earth. So, if we’re only living for this life and material existence, then it’s no lasting, transcending purpose at all. Isn’t it?

Whether you’re in the prime of your life or approaching the end of it, the issue is the same. After all, life’s end can come at any age, any time. And no one gets out alive from here!  So, I ask, what are you living for?